Neutral Phrases to Help You Handle Difficult Conversations
As conflict resolution practitioners, one of our core responsibilities is to remain neutral, especially when working with clients who may be experiencing high emotions or intense conflict. The language we use can either fuel the fire or help tame it.
When tensions rise, neutral phrasing becomes a powerful tool. It allows us to acknowledge emotions, redirect unproductive dynamics, and guide the process toward resolution, all while maintaining professionalism and impartiality.
Here are some examples of neutral phrases you can use during or when guiding others through a difficult conversation:
Acknowledge Emotions Without Taking Sides
Everyone wants to feel heard. These phrases validate the other party’s experiences without assigning blame:
“It sounds like this situation has been very difficult for you.”
“I can hear that this is something you care deeply about.”
“Thank you for sharing that. It’s helpful to understand where you’re coming from.”
“It’s clear that this has had a big impact on you.”
Reframe Accusations or Blame
In conflict, it’s easy for parties to fall into speaking in absolutes. Oftentimes, reframing helps shift the tone from “you did this” to “this is how the situation impacted me”. The following are ideal scenarios of reframing language from the point of view of each party. Not all mediations will look this easy, and that’s to be expected. Just keep each of these roles and/or views in mind, depending on where you fall in your own conflict situation.
Instead of: “You never listen to me.”
Party A: “I feel that you prioritize other things over listening to me.”
Party B: “That’s not my intention, but when I tell you I’m busy doing something else and you keep interrupting me, it makes me not want to listen.“
CR Practitioner: “It sounds like you both, to some degree, feel unheard in this situation. What does communication ideally look like for you both?”
Instead of: “You always lie!”
Party B: “I feel that a lot of the time you hide things from me. It really frustrates me.”
Party A: “I do try to tell the truth, but I don’t feel like you believe me regardless.”
CR Practitioner: “I’m hearing that there’s some disconnect in transparency and open communication. I’d love to hear more about this from you both.”
These shifts can open space for understanding, rather than defensiveness.
Redirect the Conversation Toward Collaboration
Most Alternative Dispute Resolution services are future-focused. These phrases help bring parties out of the past and into problem-solving:
“Let’s explore options that might work for both of you.”
“What might a workable solution look like from your point of view?”
“What would feel fair to you?”
“Would you be open to hearing another perspective?”
Maintain Control of the Process
When things go off-track, neutral phrases can help you regain structure without sounding punitive:
“Let’s pause for a moment so we can regroup.”
“I’d like to bring us back to the topic we were discussing.”
“Let’s take turns so each person can speak without interruption.”
“We’re here to work toward understanding and possible resolution.”
Summarize and Move Forward
When parties feel stuck, these phrases can clarify and keep things moving:
“So far, I’m hearing that [summary]. Does that sound accurate?”
“Let’s build on what we’ve already discussed.”
“Where do you see room for compromise?”
“What would help move this forward for you?”
Neutral language doesn't mean emotionless language. It means using words that support clarity, respect, and forward motion, especially when emotions run high. Practicing these phrases can help us stay grounded and guide our clients toward more productive conversations.